i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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