I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
