me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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