and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
She even gives head with a lisp.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Let's get the cat blown out
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