Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
