It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
