I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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