It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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