don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
