fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
