All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
third nipple confirmed
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
