You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
