dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
