I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
