You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Randomize
