What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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