all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
