Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Randomize
