hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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