I think I am morally bankrupt
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
