I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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