oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
