She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Im part way to drunk.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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