Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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