Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
