YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
