She announced her abortion via fbk
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize