drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
