is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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