I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
