This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
it's like heaven, but drunker
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
