i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
