He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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