Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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