i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
