you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize
