Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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