and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
