Duck Duck Cougar?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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