Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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