with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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