Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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