3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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