drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
