did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
