Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
