Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
