You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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