Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
