Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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