turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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