Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize